Handed Over - But Still Loved
Why Removal from Fellowship Can Be the Most Faithful Act of Grace
When Tolerance Becomes Abandonment
What happens when someone’s life is visibly falling apart, everyone knows it—but no one says anything?
Not because they don’t care. Because they’ve been taught that caring means silence. That love means acceptance without expectation. That speaking up would be judgmental.
Previous generations understood that authority created responsibility. Family elders held children accountable—their own and their neighbors’. Neighborhood elders spoke into community life. Intervention was expected when someone headed toward destruction.
Today we’ve traded:
Elders who knew us → Algorithms that manipulate us
Communities that formed us → Echo chambers that confirm us
Accountability that corrected us → Affirmation that enables us
The result is the satanic inversion: “Do what thou wilt.” And the silencing question: “Who are YOU to say anything?”
This hasn’t just dominated secular culture—it’s been baptized into church culture. Discipline becomes “spiritual abuse.” Boundaries become “exclusionary gatekeeping.” Expectations become “performance-based Christianity.”
But this exact situation already happened. In Corinth.
A member was living in flagrant sexual sin. The community’s response? They were proud of their tolerance—evidence of their enlightened grace, superiority over “judgmental legalists.”
Paul’s response wasn’t gentle. What they called grace, he called abandonment. What they called love, he called cowardice.
One critical distinction before we read: Paul isn’t writing to “the church” as we know it—weekend gatherings where anonymous crowds consume religious content. He’s writing to the ekklesia: covenant community with clear boundaries, shared daily life, mutual accountability.
You can’t remove someone from a community they were never part of. Paul’s instruction requires ekklesia.
What follows isn’t comfortable. It challenges our therapeutic definition of love. But if we’re willing to sit in the tension Paul creates—between severe discipline and swift restoration—we might discover a form of love our culture has forgotten:
Love that risks everything to save a soul, not love that sacrifices souls to preserve comfort.
Let’s look at what Paul actually wrote.
Scripture
“It is actually reported that among you there is sexual immorality, and such immorality as is not even among the pagans—that someone has his father’s wife. And you are puffed up! Shouldn’t you have mourned instead, so that the one who did this deed might be removed from among you?
For even though I am absent in body, I am present in spirit—I have already passed judgment on the one who has done this thing, as though I were present. When you are gathered together in the name of our Lord Yeshua, I am with you in spirit. With the power of our Lord Yeshua, you are to turn such a fellow over to satan for the destruction of his fleshly nature, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Yeshua.
Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little hametz leavens the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old hametz, so you may be a new batch, just as you are unleavened—for Messiah, our Passover Lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us celebrate the feast not with old hametz, the hametz of malice and wickedness, but with unleavened bread—the matzah of sincerity and truth.
I wrote you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people. I didn’t mean the sexually immoral people of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters—since then you would have to leave the world. But now I am writing you not to associate with anyone who bears the name ‘brother’ who is sexually immoral or greedy or an idolater or a slanderer or a drunkard or a swindler. With such a person, do not even eat.
For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Don’t you judge those who are inside? But God judges outsiders. ‘Expel the wicked person from among you.’”
“Now if anyone has caused grief, he has caused grief not to me but in some degree—not to put it too harshly—to all of you. Sufficient for such a person is this punishment by the majority, so that instead you should rather forgive and comfort him. Otherwise such a person might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him. For to this end I also wrote, so that I might put you to the test—whether you are obedient in all things. Now the one you forgive anything, I also forgive—for indeed what I have forgiven (if I have forgiven anything) I did so for your sakes in the presence of Messiah. I did this so that we would not be outwitted by satan—for we are not ignorant of his schemes.”
Context
The Scandal That Shocked No One
Paul opens with outrage:
“It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind not found even among the pagans…”
— 1 Corinthians 5:1
A man was sleeping with his father’s wife—almost certainly his stepmother. Roman law explicitly forbade this. Even pagan Corinth recognized this as destructive.
Everyone knew.
And everyone did nothing.
Paul’s primary outrage is not the sin itself, but the community’s response:
“And you are puffed up!”
— 1 Corinthians 5:2
The Greek word physioō (φυσιόω) means to inflate with arrogance. Paul uses it six times in 1 Corinthians, more than any other New Testament letter (1 Cor 4:6, 4:18–19, 5:2, 8:1, 13:4). It is Paul’s diagnosis of Corinth’s core disease.
They were not ashamed of tolerating the sin.
They were proud of it.
The Corinthian Worldview
Corinth prized sophia (σοφία)—wisdom, philosophy, sophistication. Greek philosophy elevated individual autonomy: the wise person determines their own truth and answers to no one.
Before Paul ever addresses the incest directly, he spends four chapters dismantling this worldview:
“Where is the wise one? Where is the scribe? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?”
— 1 Corinthians 1:20“Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.”
— 1 Corinthians 8:1
The Corinthians had developed what they believed was enlightened theology:
“We have knowledge.”
“All things are lawful.” (1 Cor 6:12)
“We understand grace better than legalists.”
“Who are we to judge someone’s journey?”
Their theology produced their tolerance.
Their tolerance revealed their pride.
What “Hand Over to Satan” Means
Paul instructs the ekklesia to:
“Hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved…”
— 1 Corinthians 5:5
The phrase paradounai tō satana (παραδοῦναι τῷ Σατανᾷ) uses the same verb found in Romans:
“God gave them over…” (Romans 1:24, 1:26, 1:28)
This is not a curse or ritual. It is a withdrawal of covenant protection.
Biblical cosmology is explicit:
Satan is “the ruler of this world” (John 12:31)
“The god of this world” (2 Corinthians 4:4)
“The whole world lies in the power of the evil one” (1 John 5:19)
To be in ekklesia is to live under covenant covering.
To be handed over is to be removed from that covering.
Paul anticipates consequences severe enough to break pride—spiritual crisis, exposure, suffering. Not as punishment, but as mercy.
The severity creates the crisis.
The crisis creates space for repentance.
Their false grace was preventing salvation while enabling destruction.
The Ekklesia Structure Paul Assumes
Paul’s instruction only works within a specific community structure.
The Corinthian Ekklesia
Household gatherings of 20–50 people (Romans 16:5)
Daily fellowship and shared meals (Acts 2:46)
Known membership with covenant boundaries
Recognized leadership with real authority (Hebrews 13:17)
Most Modern “Churches”
Weekend gatherings of anonymous crowds
Minimal connection beyond 90 minutes a week
No meaningful covenant boundaries
Authority optional, questioned, or absent
You cannot remove someone from a community they were never truly part of.
Paul’s instruction assumes covenant life. Most modern structures cannot execute it.
Inside vs. Outside
Paul makes the boundary explicit:
“Is it not those inside the community whom you are to judge? God judges those outside.”
— 1 Corinthians 5:12–13
Outsiders: Expected to live immorally. Not the ekklesia’s role to judge.
Insiders: Anyone “bearing the name brother.” Covenant members. Fully accountable.
Paul is not advocating Christians judge the world.
He is insisting the ekklesia maintain covenant boundaries.
Evidence of Restoration
The discipline worked.
By the time of Paul’s second letter:
“This punishment by the majority is sufficient… forgive and comfort him… reaffirm your love.”
— 2 Corinthians 2:6–8
Paul demands swift restoration to prevent despair and Satanic exploitation.
The tension Christianity struggles to hold:
Severe enough to create crisis
Swift enough to prevent destruction
Paul Follows Yeshua’s Framework
Paul is not innovating. He is applying Yeshua’s instruction:
Yeshua’s pattern:
Private confrontation
Witnessed confrontation
Community involvement
Removal from covenant fellowship
The Corinthian case had already moved beyond steps 1–3. The sin was public and unrepentant. Paul executes step 4.
“Judge Not” Properly Understood
Yeshua forbids hypocritical judgment, not accountability.
Remove the log first, then help your brother.
Same goal. Same heart. Same covenant logic.
Covenant
Why Paul Is So Often Misread
Most readers of 1 Corinthians 5 have never experienced actual ekklesia.
Without covenant community, Paul’s categories collapse:
Some conclude: “Don’t judge anyone.”
Others conclude: “Judge everyone.”
Paul says neither.
Judge those inside covenant.
Leave outsiders to God.
Paul assumes you know the difference because you live it daily.
Most modern believers do not.
What Covenant Community Requires
Scripture consistently shows:
Known lives through proximity (Acts 2:46)
Clear boundaries and mutual commitment
Recognized shepherding authority
Shared formation, not individual spirituality
Redemptive discipline, not punishment
Without this structure, Paul’s instruction is impossible.
Grace That Creates Space vs. Grace That Enables Destruction
True Grace
Risks relationship to save a soul
Creates crisis that makes repentance possible
Walks with people through consequences
False Grace
Protects comfort at all costs
Prevents crisis
Enables destruction while calling it love
Paul’s accusation is devastating:
Your “grace” is abandonment.
Formation: Elders or Algorithms?
When covenant accountability disappears, formation does not stop. It shifts.
Algorithms replace elders
Echo chambers replace community
Comfort replaces transformation
We are achieving “handing over to Satan” without redemptive purpose, while calling it grace.
Practice
A Modern Example
Sarah has been part of your community for three years. Recently, everyone has noticed the changes: heavy drinking, missed commitments, a deteriorating marriage, defensiveness when concern is expressed. Last week, she arrived at a gathering clearly intoxicated.
The “grace” response is silence. Leadership discusses it privately and decides to give her space. No one addresses it directly. They pray. They hope she figures it out.
Six months later, Sarah’s marriage has ended. She has lost her job. Her drinking has escalated. When someone finally intervenes, she says, “Where were you when I needed help?”
The community says, “We were being gracious.”
They were not. They were avoiding discomfort.
What Paul’s instruction would look like:
Leadership meets with Sarah directly. “We love you. We see what is happening. This is destroying you. We will walk with you through recovery, counseling, and accountability. But continuing as if nothing is wrong is not an option.”
If she refuses: “We are removing you from fellowship until you are willing to seek help. You are welcome back the moment you are ready. We love you too much to pretend this is fine.”
When she returns repentant: immediate restoration. No probation. No suspicion. Full reintegration with support in place.
This is severe discipline and swift restoration.
Three Key Takeaways
Paul’s instruction requires Paul’s structure. Covenant discipline cannot exist without covenant community.
False grace enables destruction. True grace creates crisis that makes repentance possible.
Formation is unavoidable. Without ekklesia, people are formed by algorithms, not covenant.
Three Discussion Questions
Does our community function as ekklesia or as a weekend religious service?
Why is holding both severe discipline and swift restoration so rare?
Who is actually forming us—elders who know us or systems that profit from us?
The Seven-Day Practice
Day 1 – Honest Assessment
Evaluate your current community. Are lives known? Are boundaries clear? Is authority recognized? Are you in ekklesia or merely attending services?
Day 2 – Count the Cost
Identify someone you have avoided confronting. What are you afraid of losing? What might they lose if you stay silent?
Day 3 – Examine Your Formation
Track one day. Time in Scripture. Time in community. Time online. Who is shaping you?
Day 4 – Practice Small Accountability
Speak truth in a low-stakes situation before stakes grow higher.
Day 5 – Build Covenant Relationships
Invite two or three people into mutual accountability. Ask for permission to speak and be spoken to.
Day 6 – Hold the Both/And
Identify a situation requiring both confrontation and restoration. Write what each would look like.
Day 7 – Covenant Vision
Gather with others. Ask: What would real ekklesia require of us? What must change?
Closing Blessing
May Yahweh give you courage to speak truth when silence would be easier, and wisdom to know the difference between fierce love and comfortable abandonment.
May the Ruach HaKodesh form you through covenant community rather than algorithms, through elders who know you rather than echo chambers that confirm you, through kingdom values rather than empire comfort.
May you have the strength to create crisis when crisis saves souls, and the grace to restore swiftly when repentance comes.
May you find the few who will commit to covenant with you—to know and be known, to speak and be spoken to, to intervene and be intervened upon—and may that small beginning grow into an ekklesia that transforms lives.
Baruch attah Yahweh, who disciplines those He loves and restores those who return.
Amen.
Powerful framing of how echo chambers have replaced covenant accountability structures. The distinction between gracethat creates crisis for repentance vs grace that enables destruction through silence is spot-on. I've watched organizations (not religious ones) wrestle with this exact tension when someone's behavior is clearly destructive but everyone's afraid of seeming judgmental. The shift from elders-who-know-you to algorithms-that-confirm-you isn't just a church problem, it's everywhere now. The part about swift restoration being as critical as discipline seems underappreciated too.